North Jersey

hatch

Usually, I delete any chain-mail-like lists and/or jokes that seem to get passed around endlessly via email.
However, the following was sent to me by my cousin Kim Hatch, who immediately gives the message credibility.
Of course Kim didn’t fail me, because IMHO the list is very funny — especially to those of us living and/or from “North” Jersey (thanks Kim!)

[note: I have no idea who wrote the following, I’m just quoting it in my blog.]

You’re a genuine “north” Jerseyan if you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these…

  • You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.”
  • You’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
  • You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were ……seven!
  • You’ve eaten at a diner…when you were drunk…at 3 am.
  • You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison. (depends on age)
  • You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.
  • You know what a “jug handle” is.
  • You know that the state isn’t all farmland.
  • You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey – there’s “The Shore,” and you know that the road to the shore is “The Parkway” not “The Garden State Highway.”
  • Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. And you call it “sub” not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagie” or a “hero.”
  • You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
  • You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
  • You know that this is the only “New…” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try…Mexico….York …Hampshire -doesn’t work, does it?).
  • You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City.”
  • You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
  • You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and Mayo a sacrilege.
  • You don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny.
  • You know that the real first “strip shopping center” in the country is Route 22.
  • You know that people from 609 area code are “a little different.”(!!?)
  • You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – that’s for out-of-staters.
  • You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
  • You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
  • You refer to all highways and interstate by their numbers.
  • You know where every “clip” shown in the Soprano’s opening credits is.
  • You’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
  • You’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheese steak with vinegar fries.
  • You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
  • You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally…
You’ve never pumped your own gas. Thank God!