So this morning I’m out walking my dog before I head off to work, chatting with my neighbor about the NCAA games at the Meadowlands the night before when I noticed that my car was missing from our driveway!

WTF!!!! It’s gone! Stolen while we slept during the night!

Called the police, insurance company, etc… Ugh! Frustrating!

However, if you happen to be in vicinity of West Orange, NJ and see a silver 2000 Volkswagen Passat with a black Thule roof rack, let me know, because apparently the driver “borrowed” it sometime early this morning without my consent.

Well, in light of the fact that within a few months, sleep will likely become a scarce commodity for me and Catherine. So, I think perhaps I should investigate the “Sleep Is Now An Option” drug.

Provigil … was a drug originally developed to treat narcolepsy, the inability to stay awake. Now Cephalon, the maker of Provigil, has received a letter of approval from the FDA extending the approved uses of the drug to treatment of jet-lag and swing-shift syndrome.
In reality the drug is set to replace the caffeine in No-Doze as the all-nighter anti-sleep aid of choice. In fact, it’s much better than No-Doze – with Provigil, you can literally stay awake for days, alert and with a remarkable lack of side effects. “(via SciScoop)

It’s official, Guinness is good for you!

I’m truly amazed! I wish I knew Japanese to provide more details, but apparently Nobuya Chikada has created an excellent remake of the classics Pacman and Space Invaders in Microsoft Excel (Yes, I said Excel!) Do check it out. (Link via Les Orchard)

Note: you’ll need to lower your Excel macro security level to get it to run (at least that’s was what I had to do in Excel 2003), but it’s certainly worth it!

LOL! This happens to be based on one of my favorite Simpson’s Episodes, but apparently a fan has created a real-life Tomacco Plant! There’s a link to a KPTV News Report and a thread on Slashdot regarding this “amazing science development”.

Mmmmm, Tomacco!

Donuts?

“Walk into any local Dunkin’ Donuts and you can purchase a caramel-swirl latte or sourdough bagel, a pumpkin muffin or powdered Munchkin. You can get a jelly stick, chocolate stick, or chocolate-coconut stick, pastries that are shaped somewhat like conventional crullers and contain roughly the same lip-smacking number of empty calories.”

“But you cannot get a cruller anymore… ” (more here)

Add to this list the Fax Machine! I despise that retched device!

John sent me this article in Business 2.0, which seems to be demonstrating the application of Business Process Re-engineering in the Consumer Product Development area:

James Dyson says, “It is much easier to reinvent the wheel because the faults of the existing system are fairly obvious,” he contends. “The hard part is to find a solution that everyone who has come before you has not found.”

“Dyson has found ways to improve on such basic appliances as the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine, and the wheelbarrow.” [more here]

Anna Kournikova: “Excuse me Mr. Bezos, is that an ‘Anaconda’ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

The site is extremely slow right now, but with a little patience…

“You will find here [Philippe Carly’s] entire collection of concert and candid photos of popular and not so popular “rock”, “new wave” and “punk” groups from the 70s, 80s and 00s”

Wow! It’s like I’m back at CBGB’s all over again!

Well my constant nagging of my friend and co-worker Ed Hackney seems to be paying off.

Oh wait, maybe not! Doh!

However, perhaps I need to teach Ed how to click the post button once :-)

BTW, I’m now a huge fan of Home Star Runner (flash required). My favorites so far are “Teenage Girls Squad” and “System Down”.

Very funny!

Who needs Saturday morning cartoons anymore?

Based on the recent comments by Senator Orrin Hatch (no relation) and the ongoing reactions, I remembered a quote of his I posted back in February of 2001, which implied that Senator Hatch (no relation) was coming to the defense of the fledgling granddaddy of MP3 swapping … Napster.

Here’s the interesting quote:

“The Napster community represents a huge consumer demand for the kind of online music services Napster, rightly or wrongly, has offered and, to date, the major record labels have been unable to satisfy,” (Feb 2001)

Steven Vore pulls out a great quote from George Gilder’s book Telecosm, which I think seems so relevant to the music industry — namely the RIAA. (link via McGee’s Musings)

“When your product is stolen by thieves, you have a police problem. When it is stolen by millions of honest customers, you have a marketing problem.”

Oh how I hope the music industry is listening. Unfortunately I highly doubt they would see the relevance.

Catherine rants about Spike Lee’s suit against SpikeTV. I’ll have to add to Cat’s “Spike” list with Elvis Costello’s album Spike from 1989.

And what about all those dogs named Spike? What will we do?

<wink>I stopped answering these after the first page because I overloaded the check-box buffer of my browser.</wink> (link via Doc)

Catherine just sent me a link to this
article in the NY Post about TRACKS, which is the name of a
new music magazine that will hit this fall from the Good Music Media…

“This magazine is the antidote to the hype and gloss of the
youth music marketing machine,” … “Tracks will deliberately pursue the
30-to-45 year old audience.”

Perhaps it’s a sign that I’m getting older in that the announcement of a
magazine targeted at the 30-to-45 year old audience appeals to me, but what
else is out there for a retro-punk with a revived interest in jazz? I
suppose a Jazz magazine, but that’s to niche for me.

I think the Star Trek Enterprise Regeneration episode last night was one of the best in the series thus far. However, I have to agree with Jeremey Zawodny in that I was at first confused about the timeline, but I do think they pulled it together nicely.

As a few people have already mentioned on Jeremey’s blog, when the Borg contacted the Enterprise, they didn’t say, “We are Borg…”, which coincides with the storyline in ST:NG whereby they didn’t know of the Borg.

A quote in the [NY Times](http://www.nytimes.com/2003/05/02/national/02STUD.html?ex=1052539200&e n=62f647db4d1433df&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND) from Howard Ende
of DB&R about the suit:

“This suit is about the industry’s attempt to intimidate
Internet users and instill fear of lawsuits against users of the Internet,
particularly students,” said Howard Ende, a lawyer from Drinker, Biddle &
Reath who is representing Mr. Peng. “They need to find some other way to
protect their economic interests than bringing suits against bright creative
young people.”

Mark Eckenwiler
details his experience suing a telemarketer (link via [Doc](http://doc.weblogs.com/2003/05/07#theContinuingDeathOfAdvertisingAsUsu al))
I love this stuff!
Good summary of Mark’s work:

“The Small Claims process in D.C. – at least what I saw of it – was so
painless as to be dangerously addictive. While the decor in the clerk’s
office leaves a lot to be desired, the staff were consistently helpful and
professional during my phone calls and in-person visits, and you can’t beat
the results if your case has merit. (While sharing news of my success, I
learned from a work colleague that she had used Small Claims previously to
recover $5,000 from a crooked used-car dealer.)”

Say it isn’t so!!

“Fraud in spam is a big problem that calls out for law enforcement, says the FTC, which found that 66 percent of the unsolicited messages contain fraudulent claims.” (via CNet)

You mean that those pills really aren’t going too… well nevermind…

I was doing some research about donating a car to charity and I found a good checklist on the NY Better Business Bureau site

“If considering a donation of a vehicle to a charity, follow this checklist: - Check out the charity. Make sure you are comfortable with its mission, activities and ethics. NYPAS maintains reports on many New York area charities and the Council of Better Business BureausÂ’ PAS program has information on national organizations from around the country.

Please, someone beat me senseless if I ever get involved with this a>

Ms. Simone, we will certainly miss you. And yes, you indeed, moved us all.

“Legendary jazz and blues singer Nina Simone has died at the age of 70 at her home in southern France.”

More news below…

• Jazz-Soul Singer Nina Simone Dies in France – MSNBC
• Nina Simone dies at 70 – Reuters
• Nina Simone Tributes – BBC
• Nina Simone Dies – Rolling Stone
• Jazz Soul Veteran Nina Simone Dies – Launch
• Nina Simone Dies – Fredericksburg
• Jazz Legend Nina Simone Dies At Age 70 – MTV
• Nina Simone, 70, Soulful Diva and Voice of Civil Rights, Dies – New York Times

Read and listen to more of Nina Simone’s inspiring
body of work

I need to seed my backyard, but I can’t decide between hydroseeding and pain old seeding. I’ve already factored out laying down sod, because according to this it appears that sod will be 50% more than hydroseeding.

However, what’s benefit over seeding? This Old House seems to favor hydroseeding, but it’s still unclear of the cost gap.

Hmm…

I’ve been trying to avoid posting about the war, but I just have to say that IMHO the BBC Reporters’ Log has been some of the best reporting about the war.

Good news … Dave Pell has turned the NextDraft newsletter into a Blog.

However, it’s a shame that the new blog doesn’t have an RSS feed yet.

CNet: “The war has inspired a new variation on the venerable Nigerian e-mail scam.”

Fast Company reports that, “The United States spends more on trash bags than 90 other countries spend on everything. In other words, the receptacles of our waste cost more than all of the goods consumed by nearly half of the world’s nations.” (via sysrick.com)

Ha! My wife Catherine goes off on SuicideGirls.com

For Cat’s birthday, I got her tickets to the Matisse Picasso exhibit at the MoMa in Queens and I definitely recommend checking it out if you’re in the NYC area before May of this year.

So what do the voices of the Simpson’s cast look like? Find out tonight on Bravo (via Slashdot)

“25 best episodes of The Simpsons according to Entertainment Weekly“

Scott Adams has been keeping track of links to the Columbia Shuttle Disaster (via Scripting)

So sad. My heart goes out to the crew’s families.

Ok, everyone is linking to this site, but the flash series that explains Kubrik’s 2001 space odyssey is awesome!

All right, I’ll admit it … I own the domain YourMom.com. I’ve had the domain and web site for a number of years. It’s a long story how I acquired the domain, but suffice it to say, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to own yourmom.com (ok, bad joke ;).

Anyway, your mom’s past hosting provider went belly up so she now has a new provider. However, I also used this move as an opportunity to port the site to a completely new code base and scripting language. It went a lot smoother than I expected thanks to the wonderful phpLinks, which is essentially a PHP/MySQL-based web link portal management application that I tweaked a bit to manage the hundreds of your mom jokes for the YM site.

State-by-State do not Call Lists (via John and Slashdot)

However, why isn’t New Jersey on that list?

Star Trek fans of the original series spent seven years, creating an all-new episode in the 1960s style. Unfortunately, the met up with the Wrath of Slashdot in battle.

Dennis Crowley: “Take a standard foosball table and make it a little bit smarter.” (via Slashdot)

From: NY Times: “Thirty years of research has convinced many experts of the health benefits of moderate drinking for some people. A drink or two a day of wine, beer or liquor is, experts say, often the single best nonprescription way to prevent heart attacks — better than a low-fat diet or weight loss, better even than vigorous exercise. Moderate drinking can help prevent strokes, amputated limbs and dementia.”

Ahh, in case you didn’t know … “La Quinta Cove [is] alerting residents that firing their guns into the air at midnight can kill.” Ok, happy new year then …

No! Really … I mean pay them: Kroger lets shoppers pay via fingerprint

Billy Bragg remembers Joe Strummer: “Joe opened the back door of the theatre and let us in, he sneaked us back to the hotel for a beer, he too believed in the righteous power of rock’n’roll. “

I can’t remember the first time I saw this, but I was recently reminded of it via BoingBoing and it’s still funny :-)

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus <north pole >town

cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus <north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

Ok, I’m recycling the card we made last year, but it’s still my favorite picture of Pinto :-)

This seems sudden and certainly too soon: “Joe Strummer, lead singer for seminal British punk band the Clash, has died at the age of 50.” We will miss you Joe!

Seven new design concepts for World Trade Center site on display @ LMDC

Interesting quotes from: I, Cringely | The Pulpit: ” .. classical or jazz, those two genres are already living in the future where musicians survive by performance rather than because they have a recording contract. If they had to rely solely on record sales, Branford Marsalis and Yo-Yo Ma would starve.”

“An enlightened music company would see itself as being in the venture capital business. “

Tonight A&E surveys, “mankind’s fascination with breasts and cleavage, from the goddesses of antiquity to today’s silicone-enhanced TV and film stars.” (via
BoingBoing)

Damn! Pick a card, any card … Dr. Cliff Pickover ESP Experiment (via BoingBoing)

And people say Turkeys are stupid … “Two days before Thanksgiving, a wild turkey, weighing 15-20 pounds, staked out some turf at the Jewett City Savings Bank in Plainfield, Conn.”

From: ctnow.com

After 19 hours of labor (OMG!) and a slew of Blackberry messages from John, I’d like to congratulate Denise and John on the arrival of their new baby boy:

John “Jack” Pearson Federico
Born: November 21st, 2002 @ 11:26 PM
Weight: 9.2 pounds
Length: 21″ (I think he’s starting with the Nets next week ;)

Mom and child are both fine and healthy.

And of course, like John, Jack is already a geek with his very own pre-and-post birth weblog. Also he’s an amazing photographer like Denise, because I’m sure you’ll see some of his pictures online very soon :-)

From MSNBC: “Coffee prices are at their lowest level in decades. So why does so much of the coffee you buy taste so bad?”

“This year, coffee makers are increasingly substituting low-quality beans in their ground coffee for high-quality beans … In addition, the purity of the average cup of coffee — the ratio of debris like twigs and rotten beans to actual fresh beans — has shifted markedly in the unappetizing direction over the past two years.”

Found this on BoingBoing: I Used to Believe: Childhood beliefs database

With gems like these:

When I first heard the expression, “post nasal-drip” I thought it was a cereal.
I used to think buying ice ceam from the truck was the same as taking candy from a stranger.
I thought that when newsreaders spoke of ‘guerilla fighters’, that they were referring to actual gorillas on the rampage.

Cat and I just got back from our Honeymoon in Tortola BVI and it was beautiful. We stayed at the Long Bay Beach Resort, which was wonderful and just secluded enough for our tastes.

As for the Wedding, I think it went off well … The ceremony was beautiful; The reception was gorgeous; The food incredible and the band was great!

I’ll post some pictures soon.

Wow! This time tomorrow … Catherine and I will be married!

My buddy Marc sent me a collection of old gig posters advertising shows from the 80’s at the legendary club City Gardens in Trenton, NJ. Wow! They certainly bring back great memories …

As an angst ridden teenager (who wasn’t ;-), living in the shadow of NYC during the 80’s, my room was wallpapered with these posters. I wish I could find some posters from the old Ritz, Irving Plaza and of course CBGB’s.

Very clever musical flash piece … click on the horse heads
[Update: I did not create this Flash short. I believe it was the fun folks at SVT.SE, but since I don’t speak Swedish, I can’t really say for sure ;]

Congratulations to my friends Ed and Christine on their new baby girl Julia Grace Hackney

John starts blogging pre-Jack: 10 days until the baby’s due date … kind-a like vapor-real-ware ;-)

Wow … less than two weeks to go before our wedding and it seems like there are still more things to plan… eek!

According to the NY Times it is.

Mount an X10 wireless cam to your nitro-powered R/C car, sit back and enjoy the ride :-)

“Cult novel The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is to be turned into a Hollywood movie .”

Hmm, I wonder if it effects your math skills?
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/science_medical/story.jsp?story=319949

“Happy, happy, joy, joy! The Ren and Stimpy Show is coming back to TV!”

Why am I not surprised that soon after Operation TIPS [aka Terrorism Information and Prevention System], was announced, Operation RATS [aka Retrograde Activities and Treachery System], was announced [funny :]

Wow! “The Americans continued their improbable run on the sport’s greatest stage with a 2-0 victory over Mexico=us) on Monday.”

Interesting and funny … http://intuitor.com/moviephysics/index.html

Really sad … I guess he really wanted to be “sedated” … Say hello to Joey for us Dee Dee

“Dee Dee Ramone, a founding member of the pioneer punk band the Ramones, was found dead of a possible drug overdose in his Hollywood home, the coroner’s office said Thursday. He was 50”

How long before you can pick up a frothy Grande bar of this at Startbucks?

“Tired of waking up and having to wait for your morning java to brew? Are you one of those groggy early morning types that just needs that extra kick? Know any programmers who don’t regularly bathe and need some special motivation? Introducing Shower Shock, the caffeinated soap from ThinkGeek… "

Funny …
Who Reads What and Why?

Wow! John just sent me this one: “An Arizona company, which dedicated a server for the exchange of music files between employees, has settled with the Recording Industry Association of America by paying $1 million. Integrated Information Systems offers technology and business consulting services. “This sends a clear message that there are consequences if companies allow their resources to further copyright infringement,” said Matt Oppenheim, senior vice president of the industry group. “We applaud Integrated for accepting its responsibility and working actively with us to settle this case out of court.” The group complained to IIS last August, at which time the parties began settlement talks."

I guess they gotta make money some how …

http://www.usatoday.com/life/2002/2002-03-26-enron-playboy.htm

Maybe next we’ll see fired Enron and Andersen executives boxing on FOX!

"Ethereal towers of light, visible for miles around, will pierce the Lower Manhattan skyline starting Monday evening, six months after terrorism changed the world as we knew it."

Awesome! I can’t wait to see this tour! Kids In Hall book long reunion tour.

A Texas jury on Wednesday found Thomas Mitchell guilty of aggravated assault for shooting his girlfriend because he thought she was about to say the words New Jersey."

From: frontline: inside the terror network “Did the hijackers make any mistakes that should have tipped us off? Were there moments when our side could have and should have spotted these hijackers before they struck? The answer is yes.”

match the beer bottles with the correct label?

nice … my buddy John Federico, president and founder of the Free Agent Forum, a firm that supports the free agent community, gets quoted in NY Newsday.

sweet! “Scientists have finally found a worthwhile use for technology and placed a pub-detecting global positioning system inside a wristwatch."

LITTLE EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) — “An F-16 with the New Jersey Air National Guard crashed Thursday morning near the Garden State Parkway during a training mission, officials said.”

From: NJ.com – NewsFlash

funny … “In a controversial interrogation tactic that one prominent human-rights organization says “borders on torture,” CIA operatives in Afghanistan have been showing Al Qaeda prisoners the Mariah Carey film Glitter.”

really sad story about our friend Bob McIlvaine who died in the WTC attack.

A webloggers account of the shoe-bomber incident on American Airlines flight 63

my buddy marty “martoon” leone of step2media put together another hilarious game in flash. this one is for the holidays and it’s as he describes it, “another one of those protect the snowman from melting game for your flashing pleasure."

I suspect this is just disinformation and I’m just propagating it, but there’s an article in the washington post that says,

“A suspected member of the Al Qaeda terrorist network claimed that Islamic militants infiltrated Microsoft and sabotaged the company’s Windows XP operating system, according to a source close to Indian police."

there’s also an interesting (and funny) thread running on slashdot about this as well … freaky!

did you ever imagine reading “coffee-wielding bandit” as a headline?

“Florida police say a coffee-wielding bandit has robbed at least six Fort Lauderdale Dunkin’ Donuts stores. Police say the man hurls hot java at the clerks after they open the register and then grabs cash from the open drawer.”

i think this picture needs no caption, but maybe a bad 70’s funk soundtrack … doh!

Pictures taken of the 1 & 9 Broadway subway line underneath the World Trade Center collapse.

from IslamOnline: “Having a Spice Girl and her bikini-babe dancers prance around in the deserts of Oman like so many trampy tarts, isn’t showing respect."

An obvious solution … “Congress is asking constituents to communicate with their senators or representatives through electronic means.”

an article published by the NYTimes details the “transcripts of the communications between pilots and controllers capture the dawning awareness of the terror in cockpits and control centers."

The Television Archive has just launched. Its first collection — concerning the events of 11 September 2001 — contains television news from around the world. You can watch the broadcasts, read critical commentary, and see differing perspectives in coverage from television stations worldwide.

john sent me this devastating aerial view of the WTC site

“An employee of NBC in New York has tested positive for anthrax, the network said Friday. The FBI and C.D.C. are investigating … The anthrax is not the same respiratory anthrax that killed a Florida man, NBC News said in a statement.”

CNN moves Switzerland to the Czech Republic

disturbing (found via blogdex)
http://perceptions.diaryland.com/010927_61.html

Quotes from a rather long, but interesting article titled, The theory of power shows that weapons indicate weakness, not strength, by Michael Jennings:

“Showing a lack of understanding of history, President Bush, in a speech to the nation on Sunday, September 16, 2001, used the term “crusade” to refer to what he wants for the United States. During the Crusades [rhodes.edu], from 1095 to 1291 A.D., Europeans traveled to Arab countries to kill Arabs.”

A pre-flight speech from the captain of Flight 564

From: CNN.com In-Depth Specials

Quotes from What Happens Next? by Jesse Walker

“1. The Gandhi Option: Wouldn’t it make more sense just to stop these clumsy interventions into other people’s battles? Why make ourselves a target for every tin-pot maniac in the Third World?"

“2. The Kojak Option: A terrible crime has been committed. … So it’s time for some expert policework, to track down and capture the people who did this."

i’m not sure if this is funny or frightening: “I’m not gonna fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.”
http://www.snopes2.com/rumors/bush.htm

this link has been passed around the weblogging community quite a bit, but i thought it valuable if you haven’t already see in:

“A collection of links to pages discussing the various rumors to come out of the September 11 terrorist attack on the United States of America.” http://www.snopes2.com/info/rumors.htm

from computer user: “The founder of a group called the Pakistan Hackerz Club defaced the Web site of World Trade Services, a California-based firm that facilitates international e-commerce."

“In a message left at the defaced site, an individual calling himself “Doctor Nuker” suggested the U.S. government may have orchestrated the terrorist attacks on America to justify widening its manhunt for Osama bin Laden."

“Israel’s military intelligence service, Aman, suspects that Iraq is the state that sponsored the suicide attacks on the New York Trade Center and the Pentagon in Washington.”

From: Who did it? Foreign Report presents an alternative view

The following was found on craigslist and written by Tamim Ansary who is an Afghani-American writer. It’s a very powerful letter in response to the events of the past week. Here are some quotes:

“The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a political criminal with a plan. When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. And when you think ’the people of Afghanistan’ think ’the Jews in the concentration camps.’ It’s not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country.”

SharedVoice.org was launched on September 17 to promote that the people want justice, but an end to more violence …

“We want to live in a world where we can live in harmony with other nations, and to feel safe from a sense of escalation that we as individuals feel little control over.”

“What is missing from the landscape of images and words is an expression of agreement among people who feel that as leaders in the world, the United States ought to uphold the values we so strongly affirm – freedom and justice. Is justice served in the taking of innocent lives, anywhere?”

From Time Magazine … collection of photographs by photojournalist James Nachtwey

My sister’s friend and colleague Osman Altan was interviewed by the Princeton Packet about his experience fleeing from 73rd floor of the north tower Tuesday morning … I think Osman’s words become even more vivid and disturbing if you view these pictures after you read the article.

john sent me a link to these pictures taken by an anonymous person, likely a tourist, as the disaster was unfolding. i think the pictures that effected me the most are of the firemen climbing up the stairs as the others were descending: http://www.phatmax.net/wtc/wow.php

fyi: here’s another Check-In Registry … use it to find out the status of
others and update your own status: http://safe.millennium.berkeley.edu/

i took this picture about a year ago from the staten island ferry and i cannot believe that we will never see it again! my heart goes out to everyone who has been affected both physically and mentally by the horrific events of this day.

now this is something i’d pay for … “Five major movie studios, including
some of Hollywood’s top players, unveiled plans today for a joint venture
that would allow computer users to download rental copies of feature films
over the Internet.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/08/17/technology/17STUD.html?searchpv=day02

Cat details her gruesome experience moving accross the country using Bekins Van Lines.

this is hilarious (found on slashdot) … turbo cooled beer!
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/

“Director Stuart Baird (“U.S. Marshals,” “Executive Decision”) has signed on to shoot the 10th installment of the “Star Trek” feature franchise.” From: Tenth “Trek” beams up director

after spending a few hours at the DMV yesterday i’m certainly not surprised by this

found this one on geeknews: “Oglingover women’s breasts is good for a man’s health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is equivalent to a 30 minute aerobics work-out” declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.”

this is no joke … from the newark star-ledger: “While walking his dog in the park near South Mountain Reservation’s Bear Lane early Sunday, a man came upon two suitcases, one of which contained the body of a badly decomposed woman.”

Doh! this is no joke, the following is quoted from the Oxford English Dictionary

doh, int. colloq. — “Expressing frustration at the realization that things have turned out badly or not as planned, or that one has just said or done something foolish. Also (usu. mildly derog.): implying that another person has said or done something foolish (cf. DUH int.).”

“1952 A. BUCKERIDGE Jennings & Darbishire ixii. 183 Doh! An anguished gasp of exasperation rang out loud and clear as Mr Wilkins found his voice again. 1989 Beano 11 Feb. 23 (caption) [Speaker is a man who is knocked against a bus stop.] Doh! 1991 Chicago Tribune (Nexis) 15 Nov. (Friday) H, The movie had one good point: It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Doh! 1993 HP Professional (Nexis) July 28 Along their long path ISO sort of missed local area networks and network management, which gave the market over to TCP/IP and related technologies. As Homer Simpson would say: Doh! 1996 A. FEIN et al. Simpsons Comics strike Back! 14/2 Look out, you dern fool! You’re gonna cut off your… D’oh!!! 1998 N. JONES Hollyoaks (Mersey TV transmission script) Episode 256 44 Cindy: What are we doing here, anyway? Paul: Doh! Use your head, eh?”

“Two of the Web’s longest-lived magazines, Feed and Suck, said on Friday that they had suspended publication and laid off their skeleton staffs because they were unable to raise the money needed to continue.”

From: 2 Long-Running Internet Magazines Shut Down

i saw this link on geeknews and it’s sinfully hilarious!

“Masturbation is more dangerous than smoking!!”

very intriguing article in the Village Voice about Tolkien’s influence on geek-culture:

“If you feel that’s no particularly meaningful achievement, I understand. But maybe you could indulge me and imagine, just for a moment, that the fact that we live in a world increasingly made by geeks actually makes their collective imagination worth understanding.”

From: The Village Voice: Features: Lord of the Geeks by Julian Dibbell

tangential advice … when getting your car fixed, order your own parts and ship them to your mechanic. i was going to be charged $500 for a new distributor. i went online and found a refurbished distributor for $115 (including shipping) using the parts search service @ http://car-part.com/

sweet!

while exploring some of the community Groove spaces, i was given a link to Boobytrap.org i’m not sure what it is, but wow, is that done in flash?

“Do you like being famous for accomplishing great things? Do you enjoy working with people of like minds? Do you look for flexible hours? Do you desire full health benefits with the world renowned Captain Dentist and Dr.Feelgood? Then you are exactly what we are looking for.”

Give up? Answer here!

“The Daily Show’s Indecision 2000 was awarded a Peabody Award for it’s coverage of the 2000 election! The Peabody is one of the most prestigious awards in broadcast journalism. Comedy central beat out ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, and all thew other news programs. "

From: Slashdot | The Daily Show Wins Peabody

It’s no April fools joke either … look here

The CBS show 48 Hours “treks along with the Eco-Challenge Sabah 2000 competitors every step of the 320-mile course through the jungle of Borneo, Malaysia.” See the previews here
[thanks Shue for the note!]

Nominate someone to carry the Olympic Torch in Salt Lake [hint-hint … nudge-nudge :]

The Pres-o-dent-al “Palm”

Usually, I delete any chain-mail-like lists and/or jokes that seem to get passed around endlessly via email.
However, the following was sent to me by my cousin Kim Hatch, who immediately gives the message credibility.
Of course Kim didn’t fail me, because IMHO the list is very funny — especially to those of us living and/or from “North” Jersey (thanks Kim!)

[note: I have no idea who wrote the following, I’m just quoting it in my blog.]

Oh no! what will the net do? Looks like Cruise and Kidman fan sites are frantic about yesterday’s breakup news.

[thanks john] yes, we are the disposable society … throw-away cell phones

“Exciter, a sonic cousin to 1986’s diverse Black Celebration” cool! i can’t wait!

it always amazes me how many misdirected email messages i get to hatch.org.
below is just a “tame” sample … i’ll post more as it get them.

note: as far as i know, i have no blood connection to senator orrin.

one of the things i remember most about seeing the DK’s live is how much Jello Biafra likes to rant … and now with his presidential run behind him he’s addressing the “hacker community” with great quotes like this one,

“Don’t hate the media, become the media …”

wow! despite the fact that i never thought i would see jello quoted in a technology publication, i still find myself agreeing with a few of his views …

true elian … thanks dave!

fill out your census forms online: U.S. Census 2000 Home Page

funny … the super-whassup … if you didn’t see the bud version look here

the boy in me always wanted to fly a jet for NASA … here’s the next best thing … well, kinda … NASA Image eXchange (NIX)

COFFEE!!!

found this on memepool… traffic waves, physics for bored commuters … ahh … anything to make my commute better!

found this on john’s weblog [newrules] … from fastcompany: Simple steps to leading better

a recently submitted your mom joke … “Your Mom is so dirty like me you smell mmmmkay if you dont like it i got two words for yaaaaaaaa suck me cuz im dirty” well said! it makes no sense at all! i love these!!
however, my favorite yourmomagory has to be the math jokes … geek-ish humor. i know.

ok … even though i’m tired of all things monica and bill … this monica quote is kind of funny …
Monica Lewinsky on CNN’s Larry King Live discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss:

“I’ve learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me.”

i saw just saw the Kids in the Hall live on tour in NYC and if you’re a fan, do check-out the show. i laughed so much my face hurt :-)

sometimes what i think i’m saying isn’t what people hear …